


Just a Game

by bracus09



Series: SEAL Team Week 2020 [6]
Category: SEAL Team (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt Clay Spenser, Paralysis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-18
Updated: 2020-01-18
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:06:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22305397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bracus09/pseuds/bracus09
Summary: When a charity softball game could end the career of one of Bravo.
Series: SEAL Team Week 2020 [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1599607
Comments: 15
Kudos: 75





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Day 7: Non-Bravo Member or Free Choice
> 
> My free choice is SPORTS!
> 
> Thank you to lauren2381 for betaing everyone of my stories and making sure they are up to snuff.
> 
> Thank you to RoboFoxtrot for this wonderful idea of SEAL Team week. Now we have plenty to read and re-read until the new episodes start.
> 
> Enjoy!

“Man is this day perfect or what?” asked Sonny, in his Texan drawl with his sunglasses and baseball cap on, toothpick in his mouth. “I mean, could you ask for better weather for playing softball?”

“Yeah, it’s going to be an awesome day for Alpha and Bravo to beat Charlie and Echo,” agreed Clay as he squinted his eyes a bit while trying to adjust to the midday summer rays beating down on them.

“Any day that we get to play and win against Charlie is a good day to me. Add in Echo, and that right there is fun times.” Sonny replied, walking over to the ball field from the parking lot.

“Yeah, Sultan of Swat,” Clay replied, and thought hard as he tried to keep the smile from forming on his lips, he found his brother’s enthusiasm all too infectious. “You’re right, it is a helluva day for a ballgame. And hopefully we will be taking home the prize with Alpha.”

“What have I been telling ya, Blondie?” Sonny stood with a self-satisfied grin on his face. It wasn’t often he could get Clay to agree with him, often they butted heads worse than two big horned rams, so when it did happen, Sonny was more than prepared to gloat and enjoy it.

Alpha, Bravo, Charlie and Echo were off rotation, so they and their families had slowly begun gathering at the ball field in anticipation of the first annual, charity softball game to benefit widows of fallen SEAL team members. The Sisterhood of SEAL Wives and Gold Star Wives of America were sponsoring it, and it was the only thing that had been in the hearts and minds of the guys of Bravo team for the last several days.

Ray and Jason’s family were already in the bleacher seats eagerly waiting for the start of the game. Naima and the kids were every bit as enthusiastic about watching Bravo and the other SEAL teams play that day as the other family members from the teams. The Gold Star Wives had two iPads for the charity raffle, and eleven-year-old Jameelah Perry had visions of that iPad being hers.

Little did she know that Naima already had plans for it to be of her use. She would be able to video chat with Ray while still folding laundry or while she readied dinner while he was spun up or on deployment.

Six-year-old RJ Perry was just as happy to make silly faces at his daddy and all his Uncles. Technology didn’t hold that much appeal for him just yet.

While Clay was making yet another goofy face at RJ, who giggled in laughter, Ray came over carrying two coolers stack on each other and a sleeve of cups. “Hey Spenser, would you mind taking a break from acting your mental age and grabbing one of these?”

“I am not acting my mental age,” Clay began until he realized he was being teased. Clay moved to help Ray out. “I got ya brother,” Clay replied with a wry smile as he grabbed the very light weight sleeve of cups from under his teammate’s arm.

Ray gave Clay a deadpanned look. “Gee, thanks, Spenser. Your help is certainly underwhelming.”

Clay replied with a chuckle of his own but then proceeded to take one of the coolers off Ray’s hands. 

Sonny came walking up to his two teammates, saying in a rather conspiratorial tone, “Hey, guess who’s playing today for Echo.”

“Who?” asked Clay with only a hint of curiosity.

“Aw, c’mon, you gotta guess at least once,” Sonny whined. 

When Spenser shrugged his shoulders and Ray offered no more of a guess than him, Sonny sighed. “You’re about as much fun as sand in my underpants.” When he started to walk away, both men called out to him in stereo and demanded to know who was playing for Echo.

“Okay, okay,” Sonny acquiesced, “I’ll tell ya.” He paused momentarily dramatically and then said, “Well, believe it or not, it’s Julia.”

“Julia?” echoed Clay. “Echo’s five-foot, 100-pound soaking wet, blonde haired, blue eyed comms tech?”

“You’re kidding.” Ray said.

“Nope, and I’ll tell ya, it’s not making a certain inflexible hard ass too happy either.” Sonny explained.

“Beau isn’t happy about Julia playing?” asked Clay innocently.

“No, Clay, not Beau. Why the hell should he care if Julia plays for their team in a softball game with Alpha and Bravo?” Sonny asked back.

“Well, he’s about as inflexible a hard ass I’ll ever know,” interjected Ray.

“See? That’s why I was asking,” replied Clay, relieved to get a little back up from Ray.

“No, fuck you guys. Not Beau. Joey Robinson. He’s the one whose got his twat in a knot ‘cause Julia’s playing,” informed Sonny.

“Okay, I’ll bite,” began Ray a bit warily, knowing Sonny Quinn’s penchant for weaving a bit of a tall tale, “Why would Charlie’s 3IC care if Julia plays or not?”

“Ahh, you’ve come to the right source for answers, my brother,” Sonny replied with a flourish.

“C’mon, Sonny, cut to the chase,” retorted Clay with a little bit of frustration.

“He played ball in school; takes it real seriously,” interjected Brock, with Cerberus at his side.

“Now he decides to talk,” fumed Sonny as he threw his hands up in frustration. Both Clay and Ray laughed at that. Brock was usually so quiet that you didn’t even know he was in the room with you. So the fact that he let Sonny’s big news out of the bag was something of a news-worthy tidbit in and of itself.

“I heard he played basketball,” commented Clay.

“Yeah, that was the sport he lettered in, but he also played baseball in college,” replied Sonny quickly so Brock couldn’t rain on his parade again.

“Yeah, but this is just a charity softball game,” remarked Ray, “why should he care if Julia plays?”

“Well, I heard he was really ranting and raving with Beau Fuller and Ben Allen about the purity of the game and all that,” explained Sonny. “Of course, when Ben told Joey he would have to be the one to tell Julia she couldn’t play, Joey backed off real quick.”

“I guess the man isn’t a total fool, right Ray?” asked Clay rhetorically.

They all had a good laugh over that one and then proceeded to warm up before the game.

***

For the most part, the two teams were evenly matched. Each side had scored a few runs so it was all tied up in the bottom of the fifth inning. In fact, after Beau Fuller grounded out to make the first out, Joey Robinson had hit a hard single to short center. Brock was playing center and threw it into the shortstop, Clay, while Trent, the second baseman, backed him up. Ray was playing first base and tried to engage Joey in some friendly banter.

“Nice hit, Joey.” Charlie’s 3IC merely nodded in acknowledgment. 

“Heard you were a pretty good player in college,” Ray continued.

This elicited a mild grunt of recognition. “Ever think of going into the minors when you were in college?”

That got a response, though it was a bit terse. “Didn’t make the cut. Joined the Navy instead.”

“Oh.” Ray let it go at that. He held the younger man to the bag without another word to the rather intense Navy SEAL.

There were several extra players on each team who hadn’t gotten into the game yet, and the sub that caused the most reaction up to that point was just now entering the game. As Julia started up to the plate, she had two choices. For one, the liberated woman in her could choose to ignore the cat-calls and whistles, and then quietly demand that everyone take her playing seriously. On the other hand, she could acknowledge the fact that it was a bit unusual for a woman to be playing in an all-male softball game and accept the fact that most of them were appreciative of her female form up at bat.

She chose the latter.

She smiled, waved her hand to the crowd, and then stepped up to the plate.

She took ball one. Her shorter height made it difficult for Jason Hayes, Alpha and Bravo’s pitcher, to find the strike zone. He threw her an arcing pitch again, and the umpire called, ball two.

“Good eye, Julia!” cheered on Ben Allen, Echo’s team leader, who was acting as first base coach. Ben then reminded Joey to run on any contact to avoid a possible double play, and Joey gruffly responded that, “he knew that.”

As Jason went into his wind up, Joey Robinson stepped on first base. He’d always had good baseball instincts, and he had a feeling that Julia was going to make contact this time. Though he was probably the only person playing who really cared, he knew in softball he had to wait for the ball to cross home plate before he could leave the base, so without taking his eye off second base, he listened for the tell-tale crack of the bat.

“Go Julia!” cried out Ben. Joey had already taken off at the sound of the hit and was running hard toward second base. Trent had come in from his second base position to take care of the slow rolling dribbler that barely made it toward the pitcher’s mound, deftly picked it up, and tossed it toward first base.

As he lobbed it over, Ray was laughing as he announced for all to hear, “Julia, ya run just like a girl!”

Trent started laughing at that, especially since Julia started laughing halfway up the first base line as she accepted the ribbing with the good humor it was intended. Of course, since everyone was laughing so hard, Ray lost control of the softball and dropped it as Julia stepped on first base.

“Well, nice of you to notice, Ray!” She panted as she made it to the base.

“Safe!” Yelled the umpire.

“Aw, c’mon, Ump! She was out by a mile!” Whined Sonny, who as the catcher was right on top of the play, backing up his first baseman.

“And she would have been if Ray held onto the ball,” pointed out Ben Allen.

“Julia, ya can’t be running like a girl and expect us to play decent ball, ya know?” declared Ray with a broad smile. They were having a good time and all of it was for a good cause.

Everyone was chatting it up, joking, and laughing when suddenly Ray heard Trent call for Jason. Loudly. And in a tone that was more than just a little urgent. It reminded him Trent's 'mission just went to shit' tone. 

***

Like every other guy on the field, in the dugouts, and in the stands, Clay was carefully observing the batter with an admiring eye. Though Julia was dating and her boyfriend was in the stands, he could still appreciate that she was a fine-looking woman with a figure that certainly did her ‘uniform’ of shorts and a t-shirt justice.

The little wiggle she made with her hips as she stood in the batter’s box didn’t hurt either. Clay smiled to himself; there was no way he could be sure whether Julia was purposely trying to distract the players on the field, or if she was nothing more than an innocent first-time player.

No matter, he was there to have a good time and watching Julia participate in the charity game was as good of a definition of fun as any other. He smiled at the Echo team comms tech’s seeming determination after taking two balls in a row. When his team leader got ready to throw the third pitch, Julia seemed to buckle down. Jason went into his wind up and arced the ball perfectly over home plate.

She hit it. Clay’s mouth dropped open when she actually made contact with the ball. He smoothly ran over to cover second base while Trent fielded the ball.

Clay watched the play in front of him the entire time. The ball dribbled up a little way past the pitcher’s mound and he watched Trent dash in to snatch it up off the ground. While Trent straightened up to throw, Clay saw Julia running towards first base. He couldn’t keep the smile off his face, and then he started laughing out loud when he heard Ray’s declaration that Julia ran just like a girl! That she did, and he enjoyed every moment watching her. He didn’t take his eyes off her.

Which was why the jolt Clay felt when Joey Robinson barreled into him felt like a renegade train had run right into him. He felt as though he was lifted by his feet and then dropped back down to the ground on his head. Clay had no idea as to exactly what happened. He simply knew he was no longer standing upright watching the play in front of him.

He was dead.

That was the only thing that Clay figured could account for what he was feeling. At first, he though he was having an out of body experience, but then Clay realized that he was looking up at the sky rather than hovering above and looking down below him.

Yet he still wasn’t sure. He felt as though his body was deadened; he couldn’t understand why suddenly, he no longer felt a part of himself.

***

Joey Robinson was sprawled out next to Bravo 6. He remained still, as still as Clay was, for a moment or two. Then, slowly, the muscular SEAL untangled himself from Clay’s lower limbs.

“Was I safe?” were the first words out of Joey’s mouth. When Clay didn’t answer, Joey asked again only to be greeted by silence. He took a quick look over at first base and saw Echo’s comm tech remained steadfastly on first base. “Well, I guess Julia beat it out,” he muttered quietly. He figured he’d take his base and stay there until someone told him differently.

As he stood up and brushed the dirt off his clothes, he noticed Clay still hadn’t gotten up. He decided to be sportsman-like and offer the younger man a hand.

“Here, Spenser,” he said as he offered his hand, “Lemme help you up.”

“No,” was the quick, but strangled response from Clay.

“No?” Joey echoed. “C’mon, Spenser, stop screwing around.”

“No,” the younger man replied with more determination.

“What the hell’s wrong with you?” Robinson asked. He was too wound up in the emotion of the game to even begin to contemplate that Clay might need more than just a hand up.

Clay suddenly realized something was horribly wrong. He felt he was going to lose all control if he didn’t get the anchor he desperately needed.

“Trent,” he called out with a small, but determined voice, “I need Trent.”

It was Clay calling for Bravo's medic that caused a light bulb moment for Joey Robinson. “Oh shit,” he muttered aloud. It was then that Robinson called out to Trent to get him and motioned for the other medics to come to help Clay.

“Something’s wrong, Sawyer. Get over here now.” Joey Robinson then motioned furiously for Derek from Alpha, Kyle Hughes from Charlie and Brogan Sullivan from Echo to come over to Clay’s side.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The trip to the hospital.

Trent looked over towards where he heard the call and realized that Clay was down for the count. For a split second, he began trying to analyze all the possibilities that his brother remained laying on the ground.

None of them were good.

He started out in a brisk couple of steps, then accelerated to a slight jog until he reached Clay. He knelt down at his brother’s side and was about to grab his hand to take a pulse when he heard Clay say softly, “Neck. My neck. Collar me.”

Clay made his demand clear; there was no doubt in Trent’s mind that his teammate was acting out of pure instinct. “Okay, brother. We’re getting one from Charlie’s med kit,” and with that he looked up at Brock who immediately understood that he was to go and get Charlie’s med kit from the dugout.

Derek and Brogan quickly knelt by the fallen Bravo member and attempted to assess his condition. Jason stood nearby in case they could use his assistance as well. Joey Robinson, however, remained back of the immediate scene. He stood observing without comment.

“Okay, Clay, tell me what’s going on, okay?” Trent asked gently, as he leaned down over his brother in order to make eye contact.

“Don’t know exactly,” came the less than confident voice. “Trent, something’s wrong. I don’t know where I am. I don’t think I can move.” Trent hesitated before he responded to this; he wasn’t sure exactly what Clay meant. He wasn’t even sure if Clay knew what he meant, and Trent didn’t want to agitate him. Trent knew something was wrong, seriously wrong, since Clay had not moved a muscle the entire time. 

“Keep him talking,” Kyle whispered encouragingly, as he arrived with his med kit, and the medics started to assess Clay’s condition.

“Do you remember what happened that caused you to go down?” asked Trent.

“I’m not sure. Julia was up and she hit the ball. She got a hit, and I was watching. You got the ball and threw it to Ray. Right, Trent?” he asked in almost a pleading tone. He needed to know that he was able to make some sense of what had happened.

“Yeah, Clay. That’s what happened so far, but what happened next?” Derek asked with more concern as he realized that there was the possibility of a very serious injury.

“I, I don’t know. I’m not sure what-. Trent, what the hell happened?” pleaded their brother. He was dazed and didn’t know how to explain his condition. He felt so disoriented at that moment that he felt nauseous. He feared he was going to vomit all over himself.

***

Naima watched in horror as the game came to a sudden abrupt halt and everything centered on an injured player. “Hey, isn’t that Clay Spenser that’s down?” she heard someone ask. She turned to look at the speaker and recognized the wife of Alpha’s 2IC, Trish.

“Yes, it’s Clay. It looks like he hasn’t moved a bit since he was knocked down.” Naima answered.

“Mom, can we go down and see what’s happening?” Jameelah asked, her eyes filled with worry.

“Yeah, mom, I can make him get up,” RJ pleaded.

Naima shook her head. “No, we’ll only be in the way. Your Dad and Uncle Trent will come talk to us as soon as they can.”

Everyone’s eyes were on the field, so no one noticed RJ leaving his seat…

***

“Uncle Clay? Uncle Clay, what’s wrong?” cried out young RJ who had run over to the scene before anyone even realized it.

“Oh, God, Ray?” he pleaded. He couldn’t stand the idea that RJ would see him as weak. 

Ray understood immediately and spoke up. “RJ, Uncle Clay was hurt, but we’re going to take good care of him. We need you to go sit back down with Mommy and Jameelah, so the medics have room to work. Okay, Big Man?"

“But, Daddy, I want -“ RJ started.

"Ray Junior, please, listen to Daddy. It's real important," Ray implored.

“C’mon, sweetheart, let’s go with your Mommy now,” Julia interjected. “I’m sure your daddy will let us know if here’s anything we can do to help your Uncle Clay, right?”

“Thanks, Julia.” Ray said, then stood up and gave his son a hug. He then looked at his wife with what she could only describe as wild eyes.

Naima knew something was wrong, but she knew she couldn’t ask questions at this time. She would have to wait, along with everyone else. She allowed herself to be escorted by Julia to nearby bleachers to wait for word with her children.

***

When it was apparent that RJ was no longer nearby, Clay felt a little less anxious. He knew that he was in good hands; he just wished he could remember what had happened.

“Clay, I need to give you a quick check to get a better idea of what we’re dealing with, okay? Derek and Kyle are going to check your vitals for me,” informed Trent.

“Trent?” Clay called out suddenly. When Ray had stood up to console RJ, Trent had moved so he was no longer in Clay’s direct line of sight. His voice was now filled wit anxiety, and Trent quickly responded.

“I’m right here, Clay.” Trent responded.

“Trent, I can’t see you,” Clay said tremulously.

“I’m here, Clay,” he said gently, as he slipped behind Clay in order to get in his brother’s sight. “I’m right here.”

“Anything jogging your memory, Clay, about what happened?” asked Derek. When he heard a whispered, “no,” the medic then asked aloud of everyone, “Did anyone see what happened?”

There was complete silence for several moments when Brock spoke up. “I saw it. I saw the entire thing.” His voice had an edge to it that few ever heard coming from the normally mild-mannered dog handler.

“Well, you gonna tell us, Brock?” egged on Sonny.

“It’s all your fault!” Brock continued with quiet anger. “It’s all your fault!” As Brock spoke, Joey began to back up as Brock unconsciously began to move toward the other man.

“Reynolds, what the hell are you doing?” called out Jason when he realized that Brock was getting more and more intimidating. He wasn’t sure what caused him more shock; Clay’s condition or Brock’s sudden, out-of-character aggressive behavior. He reached for his brother just as Brock lunged for Joey.

Sonny grabbed Brock’s right arm, while Jason grabbed the left. Brock tried to fend them both off, but eventually acquiesced, breathing hard.

“Brock, what the hell got into you?” asked Jason.

When Brock finally found his breath, he said simply, “It’s his fault,” all the while glaring directly at Joey Robinson.

“What was his fault, Brock?” C’mon, talk to us,” Jason commanded.

“I saw the whole thing. Clay never saw him coming. Never. He was watching the play in front of him the entire time, but he,” Brock practically spit the pronoun out, “never slowed down for one second. He just barreled right into Clay without ever taking notice if he was ready for him. For crying out loud, it’s just a damn game!”

Joey Robinson stood silently, listened to the diatribe, and accepted every word as truth.

***

The medics finished taking all the vitals and recording them.

All of them were a little concerned about their patient’s blood pressure as it was running a little high, which was contrary to potential neurogenic shock, so perhaps that is a positive sign. However, they didn’t like the pallor of Clay’s skin. He looked too pale and was probably nauseous.

Vomiting was the last thing Clay Spenser needed right now.

EMTs had finally arrived and brought a backboard with them. Derek urged the EMTs to secure Clay to a backboard as quickly as possible.

Kyle, Brogan and the two EMTs weren’t done a moment too soon when Clay began to show signs of panic. “Clay, you okay?” asked Trent quickly.

“Sick.” Was the one-word response.

“Roll him; he gonna vomit,” directed Trent.

One last quick check of the inflexible C-Collar and the tie downs on the backboard, and Clay Spenser was rolled over onto his side so that he didn’t end up choking on his own vomit. Trent stayed near, keeping his hands around his brother’s forehead, and saying whatever he could think of that might offer the frightened man some comfort. IVs had already been started, so that lines would be open and ready to use when they arrived at the hospital. All the medics agreed that steroids would have to be administered as soon as Clay arrived in the emergency room. Everyone was acutely aware that it was going to be a while before they’d be able to determine the severity and permanency of Clay’s injury.

As Derek, Kyle and Brogan looked at the worried expressions of Bravo team surrounding them, they realized it was going to be a long wait.

***

Joey Robinson remained silent throughout the entire procedure of getting Clay prepared for transport. What was there to say? He knew he was the reason for Clay’s injury. He hadn’t meant to cause the guy bodily harm, that was a certainty, but the truth of the matter was, his inflexible pursuit of always being the best no matter what the cost, was simply too high of a price today.

He knew there was a good possibility Clay Spenser would be permanently confined to a wheelchair. His career as a SEAL was quite probably over. Given Clay’s occupation and his activity level, his motivation to continue life in a wheelchair would be in jeopardy as well.

Joey turned away from the crowd momentarily to take a deep breath and scrub his face with his hands. He didn’t mean for it to happen. He never intended to hurt anyone; he was simply playing the game in the only way he knew how to play it; hard and with the intent of winning.

Only problem was that no one won today, and there was obviously at least one big loser. Robinson looked back as the team of medics turned the backboard over again. Clay was having a difficult time keeping the contents of his stomach, and he threw up yet again. All concerned wanted to be sure his stomach settled before they transported to the hospital. Robinson sighed in despair.

***

It was decided that everyone would ride in their own cars to the hospital, and Trent and Sonny would ride in the ambulance with the EMTs.

Clay hadn’t said a word when they first entered the ambulance, although he did keep his eyes in constant contact with Trent’s. The fear in the younger man’s eyes was obvious; what was less noticeable was the terror in his brother’s. Trent knew Clay was in trouble, and that this was one injury from which he might not get a chance to walk away.

Trent considered just about every possibility he could think as they rode over to the hospital. His brother might have to use crutches to get around.

Check.

He might lose the use of his legs.

Check.

He might have limited use of his arms.

Check.

He might require the use of an electric wheelchair.

Check.

He might need some assistance with breathing.

Check.

He might be on a respirator for the rest of his life.

Check. 

Trent didn’t want to get his hope up, so he didn’t chance thinking Clay might recover completely. Of course, Trent would even allow himself to consider the possibility that his brother might not make it at all. They were almost to the hospital when Clay called for Sonny.

“Sonny, promise me something.” Sonny had to lean down close to clay to hear the whispered request. “Promise me I won’t have to live like this.”

“Peter Pan, you know you are in Trent’s hands and we are going to get you the best doctors,” Sonny began reassuringly. “They’re gonna do everything they can for you. We’re just gonna have to wait and see what all the test results are, okay?”

“No,” Clay whispered, agitation was clearly heard this time, “You got to promise me, I won’t have to live like this,” When Sonny still appeared to have no clue of what Clay was really saying, he implored, “Please, Sonny.”

It was then that Sonny finally understood the true meaning behind Clay’s words, and it frightened him into silence momentarily. Finally, after a wide-eyed glance from Trent and with great deal of difficulty, Sonny managed to choke out, “Clay, I can’t make a promise that’s impossible for me to keep. Damn it, Poster Boy, you mean too much to me. I couldn’t let you go easily, so please, don’t ask me to,” Sonny paused and swallowed back a sob. “Please, Clay, don’t ask me that.”

Clay closed his eyes.

***

The on-call neurologist, Dr. Quitiquit quickly administered the steroids to reduce any swelling around the spinal cord and its aftereffects, when they arrived in the Emergency Room. They ordered a complete set of x-rays to help them diagnose the severity of trauma to the spinal cord.

In the meantime, they continued to assess their patient for shock. They’d started an IV of Ringers Lactate while in the field to help minimize any symptoms.  
Upon arrival in the trauma room, Clay had been immediately cut out of his clothes and catheterized. The last thing Clay Spenser needed was an infection that could increase his blood pressure to dangerous levels. Pain and discomfort could easily trigger a raise in blood pressure, but since Clay’s present condition rendered him without the ability to feel, it was up to the physicians to anticipate potential problems. Anything the medical staff could do to minimize potential problems was a priority. 

All the doctors knew it was going to be a matter of waiting and seeing.

Praying probably wouldn’t hurt at this point either.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And the prognosis is...

The SEALs that didn’t need to be on base filtered into the ER waiting room at the hospital throughout the day. Everyone gathered in support of their friend and brother. Naima arrived with both children in tow, and she expected to find Trent or Sonny to remain by Clay’s side, so she was surprised to see both in the waiting room with the others.

“Ray? What’s wrong?” she asked as soon as she saw the dark mood everyone wore on their faces.

They’re getting him ready for x-rays and scans,” Trent replied. He spoke with little inflection; he was still in medic mode.

“Ray, talk to me. What are you not telling me?” Naima asked again.

“Naima, he can’t move!” Ray retorted.

“Besides the obvious,” she replied gently. After thirteen years of marriage, if there was one thing Naima Perry could do, it was read her husband like an open book.

All the guys looking at each other, not knowing how to say what happened. None of them wanted to betray Clay’s confidence, but this would need help from all the family, not just the brothers. 

Trent looked at Naima gratefully and opened to her. “Naima, he’s scared; I mean, I know he must be scared, but…” 

“But? Tell me, whatever it is. We’ll deal with it, together,” she affirmed.

“He asked me to do something I could never do,” Sonny confessed. “He asked me to promise that he wouldn’t have to go on living if he were to remain paralyzed.” Sonny let out an involuntary shudder just remembering his brother’s plea.

“Oh, dear God. Poor Clay,” reacted Naima. “He must feel so helpless to want to…” She couldn’t utter the word. “What did you say?”

“No. I told him, no.” Sonny felt Naima’s arms wrap around his shoulders for the emotional support he so desperately needed at that moment.

***

Joey Robinson remained in a different waiting area, alone, pacing its perimeter.

He wasn’t asked if he could do anything to help Clay, which of course didn’t surprise him, but he was still feeling as if he should be doing something. The problem was, he didn’t think anyone would let him. He felt like a pariah and didn’t think anyone would welcome his offering of services.

Lisa Davis walked into the waiting area for a needed cup of vending machine coffee, and was startled to find Joey Robinson waiting alone inside. She knew it made sense that he would be at the hospital somewhere, but having focused so much on getting Clay to the hospital, she’d completely forgotten about him. It looked to her as if everyone had forgotten about Charlie’s 3IC, and she wondered if that was a good idea.

“Joey, you okay?” she asked tentatively.

He looked at her quietly before answering her, as if he needed to assess her true motivation for the question. After being on the receiving end of Brock Reynold’s fury, Joey wondered if anyone really gave a damn as to how he felt about the whole incident. Afterwards, no one had come over to him to offer any kind of support or sympathy regarding Reynold’s attack on him.

Not that he felt he deserved any, but it would have been of some comfort to know everyone didn’t hate him for what he did to Spenser. What HE did to Spenser.  
He suddenly realized he had no idea how to answer Davis’ question, so he remained silent.

Lisa carefully observed Joey. The man’s pallor looked pasty and she noticed his hands were trembling a bit. The next this she knew; Joey’s entire body began shuddering.

“Joey, sit down, you’re in shock,” she ordered as she walked over to him and grabbed his arm.

He allowed himself to be led to the couch and Lisa did a quick visual assessment to see how he was doing. She noted the glassy eyes, and slow responses. His breathing was a bit labored, and his pulse was more rapid than normal, but certainly not cause for too much alarm.

He was exhibiting signs of shock, though she wasn’t sure if it was physical or emotional. “Joey, were you hurt?” When he didn’t answer, she shook his shoulder to get his attention, and repeated, “Were you hurt at all?”

Finally, Lisa placed her hand under Joey’s chin and pulled it so that he was forced to make eye contact with her. “Joey, were you injured? Answer me, now.”  
Lisa’s no-nonsense tone startled the SEAL a bit, and it was just enough to force a response from him. “No.”

“Did you hit your head?” she asked, hoping Joey’s new-found gift of speaking wouldn’t disappear too soon.

“No,” came the short response.

“Did you pull a muscle, bruise anything? Did you cut yourself?” Lisa continued to question.

“No. No. No.” He looked at her with little expression, until he began speaking again. Then, his voice took on new tones of emotion. “I told you, I wasn’t hurt. I told you I was okay. I told you all that. Now leave me alone.

“Joey, you’re not okay.” She paused momentarily, then added, “None of us are.”

Joey looked her with new eyes and bemoaned, “Oh, God, Davis, what have I done?

He dropped his head into his hands and began to sob.

***

It took some doing, but Davis finally convinced Joey to lay down on the couch. Joey fell into a restless sleep. His body had been experiencing similar symptoms of shock to those of one who was physically hurt, and it took a toll on him. He was exhausted from the emotional roller coaster he was riding all afternoon. Sleep was his only means of escape.

Davis left the waiting area, glanced at the waiting area holding the rest of Bravo and went into the trauma room to check on Clay.

She saw him as he lay motionless while Dr. Quitiquit and another doctor conferred quietly. He remained restrained in the c-collar and on the backboard. Davis bypassed the two physicians and went directly to her little brother. She noted he was staring straight up at the ceiling, barely blinked at her arrival.

“Hey there, Bravo 6,” she greeted with a smile. “How are you holding up?”

“Okay,” he said resolutely.

“Really?” she responded, “Funny, I’d be ready to climb the walls by now waiting for word on what the hell was going on.”

“Don’t think that’s going to happen too soon,” responded Clay dejectedly. 

“Clay, you don’t know what’s going to happen any time soon. We have to wait for the x-rays, and I’m sure they have you scheduled for a CT scan and MRI, right?”

“I guess.” His tone remained flat. 

It dawned on Davis that something was wrong with the picture before her. “Where’s Sonny? Where’s Trent?”

“Don’t know. Haven’t seen anyone since we first got here,” he answered.

“How about I go and get him?” Davis asked rhetorically, but to her surprise, Clay answered her.

“Dunno if he’ll want to come back in,” he began and then hesitantly continued, “Think maybe I put him off earlier.”

“Put him off? From seeing YOU?” Clay Spenser, what in heaven’s name could you have possibly said that would make anyone of Bravo want to avoid seeing you?” Lisa asked a bit indignantly.

He met her question with silence and then whispered, “Nothing. Tired.”

He forced his eyes closed though Davis understood it was not to sleep.

She leaned down and whispered into his ear, “Clay Spenser, don’t you dare give up on yourself, you hear? I won’t allow it, and neither will Sonny. None of your brothers will. You just remember that.”

Clay sighed to himself and waited until Lisa left his side before he allowed himself to mutely respond to her whispered pleas with only silent tears.

***  
A few hours passed by and the doctors took the time to go over the x-rays and scans. Next, they took the opportunity to review the results with a dozen or so SEALs and their families that remained in the waiting room to let them know what they knew of Clay’s condition.

“I wish we had something definitive to tell you all,” Dr. Quitiquit began remorsefully. “It’s just too soon to make a prognosis.”

“Well, what do you know?” asked Jason. This was his youngest brother, and he needed to know what he and his team could expect. He needed to know what he would have to do to support the rest of his family.

“Well, we can tell you Clay is experiencing varying degrees of numbness from the neck down. The good news is that he’s not having too much difficulty breathing, so we can hopefully expect he won’t need to go on a ventilator any time soon,” offered Dr. Quitiquit.

“Ventilator?” squeaked Sonny. “What the hell are you talking about, Doc? Just tell us how soon Poster Boy is gonna get up out of that bed and walk out of here.”  
Leave it to Sonny Quinn to get to the heart of the matter and blurt out what was on everybody’s mind.

“Sir,” Dr. Quitiquit hesitantly began, “Gentlemen, listen. I, um, don’t think…” She gave up. Dr. Quitiquit would be the first person to admit her bedside manner was sometimes a little gruff, but even she didn’t have it in her heart to tell these men that there was a real possibility their fellow SEAL and friend would never walk out of this hospital.

Dr. Mayer, another neurologist in the hospital, saw his colleague struggling and graciously took over the task of trying to explain the situation. “Everyone, Dr. Quitiquit is right. It’s simply too early to make a prognosis. There are a number of possibilities ranging from the best possible outcome to the worst-case scenario.”

“What might those be, Doc?” asked Trent softly. He was pretty sure he knew what they were, but he felt it was important for the knowledge to be shared with his brothers.

“Well, best case, is Clay enjoys a full recovery and walks out of the hospital once feeling returns. He’d probably have to go through a period of rehab, but that would be expected.” Dr. Mayer explained.

“And the worst-case?” asked Jason.

"He’s paralyzed from the neck down and must use a ventilator to breathe for him,” Dr. Quitiquit replied but quickly added, “But I don’t see that as a true possibility. He’s breathing on his own now, so I don’t think the injury is that high.”

Naima stepped forward and asked, “Can you give an estimate as to when you will have some idea of how Clay is going to fair?”

“We got the test results, but to be honest, there’s still too much swelling to allow us to see anything definitive. It’s really a wait and see situation. It could be anywhere from the next several hours to the next several days. I wish I could be more specific. I’m sorry,” Dr. Quitiquit responded.

From the entrance of the waiting room, Joey Robinson had been listening intently. He was just as eager to hear the results as Spenser’s team. He was just as frustrated and let down when he didn’t.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kiss and make up.

“Where’s Naima?” asked Davis.

“The kids were getting really restless and hungry. RJ didn’t really understand what was going on, and Naima felt it best to take both kids home.” Replied Ray.

Davis nodded in agreement and then said, “Have anyone had a chance to speak with Joey Robinson yet?”

“Joey Robinson?” Jason echoed. When Davis nodded, Jason shook his head no and then asked, “Why?”

“Guys, he’s feeling really down about what happened.” Davis patiently explained.

With a flash of anger, Brock gritted out, “Well, don’t you think he should? Damn it, Davis, it’s his fault Clay can’t move, isn’t it?”

“It was an accident, and you know it. Joey Robinson never intended Clay any harm. He was playing the game, that’s all,” she retorted.

“Turned out to be a helluva play, didn’t it,” Trent muttered miserably.

“I know Joey didn’t intentionally set out to hurt Clay, but it was so unnecessary, Davis. If he wasn’t so damn INTENSE for this damn game, this would never have happened.” Ray reasoned.

“I know, but he feels just as badly as the rest of us.” Lisa gently explained.

“Oh? Funny, you’d never know that. Where the hell has he been all this time, Davis? I certainly haven’t seen him go and apologize to Clay, have you?” Sonny said angrily.

Davis remained silent. She knew Bravo was in no state of mind to understand that Joey Robinson understood just how angry everyone was feeling with him at this point. Finally, she said, “Guys, I think someone could really use some company about now. I checked a little earlier and saw Clay was definitely awake.”

“Oh… sure,” Sonny hesitated, “Um, let me go check on something real quick, okay?” He stood up and began to walk away, but Davis grabbed his arm quickly.

“Now, what’s going on?” she said with a hint of exasperation. It was a long day for all of them.

“Nothing, Davis, nothing at all. Just gotta check on something, that’s all.” Sonny replied, shifting his eyes away.

“Sonny Quinn, that is the biggest bunch of bullshit and you and I both know it. Now spill.” Lisa put her foot down.

Sonny sighed and with much trepidation shared the request Clay had made of him in the ambulance. “I don’t know if I can look him in the eye, Lisa, knowing he want me to… well, you know, help him die.”

“Oh, for heaven’s sake, Sonny! He doesn’t want to die, he’s afraid of living a life that’s the total antithesis of what he’s always known. Get in there and help him see you’ll be there no matter how things turn out.” She saw his hesitation and urged him with one final, “Go!”

He nodded and left for Clay’s trauma room.

***

Sonny opened the door to his brother’s room slightly when he heard voices from inside. He opened it a little more, and though he had no intention of eavesdropping, he found himself listening with more than a little curiosity to the words that Clay and Joey exchanged.

“Listen, Clay, I had no idea you didn’t see me. I figured you did; I guess I should have looked, but I though you saw me. I was sure you saw me.” Joey was explaining.

Sonny tried to keep quiet, he really did, but in all of Joey’s words, he’d yet to hear an apology. Not anything close. So, Sonny probably startled both men more than he should have when he shoved the door open and angrily said, “If absolution is what you want from him, Joey, don’t waste your breath. Why don’t you try saying that you’re sorry? You were the one at fault, but you’re making it sound like Clay’s the one responsible just because he wasn’t expecting to be blinded-sided by an idiot who doesn’t know the difference between a charity softball game and the World Series.”

“Sonny, don’t,” Clay rasped.

“No, Peter Pan, this just isn’t fair. He’s standing here and I haven’t heard him take one iota of responsibility for you ending up in traction.” Sonny almost growled.

“Sonny,” Clay tried again, “It was an accident. He didn’t mean for this to happen.”

“Clay, he should at least apologize,” Sonny despaired. It was killing him to think his best friend may never lead a normal life.

Clay looked over at Joey Robinson and for the first time since the accident, actually sported a small smile. “You gotta understand, Sonny,” he said in a conspiratorial stage whisper, “For SEALS, that WAS an apology.”

“Clay…” Sonny began, but Joey cut him off.

“No, Sonny, you’re right. I didn’t want to take the blame for this because that would have meant that I was going to have to claim responsibility for Clay being in that bed. But you’re right, it is my fault.” Joey explained.

Joey turned away from Sonny and leaned over Clay so that he made direct eye contact with him. “I am sorry, Clay, for doing this to you. I truly am; I don’t know what I can do to even try and make it up to you, but whatever it is, I’ll do it. Please, Clay, please know I am so, so sorry.”

Clay took in Joey’s remorseful expression and knew the guy was being earnest. “I told you, Joey, you’d already apologized. I accept. Now, guys, if you don’t mind, I think I’m ready for another nap. This hanging around doing nothing is damned exhausting.”

Sonny smiled at his brother’s obvious attempt to deflect the emotionally charged exchange, but it worked. Joey returned to his normal demeanor and told Spenser he’d be in later to check on him. Clay nodded and closed his eyes, but before Joey left, he called out one more time, “Clay?”

“Thanks,” and with that Joey left the room.

Sonny walked over to his brother whose eyes remained closed and said softly, “You’re a piece of work, Blondie. You may not be able to stand on your own two feet at the moment, but I wouldn’t want anyone but you, standing by me when a mission gets hot. You’re a helluva man, Clay Spenser.” And with that he leaned over the railing and patted his hand gently to Clay’s forehead, the one body part Sonny knew his brother still had feeling in.

***

When Clay was considered stable a couple of hours later, he was admitted to a room on the neurology floor. The doctors and nurses on the floor were aware that he was a very important patient and whenever the opportunity presented itself, they were sure to allow any SEALs to come in and visit.

Clay was never left alone. It simply proved to Clay that no matter what the outcome, he was valued as a friend and brother, and as a person whether he could walk or not.

Sonny spent the night in the chair next to his bed; he watched over his brother and did whatever he could to remind him that he needed Clay no matter what. Sonny talked about anything and everything to remind his brother that he is needed in Bravo, and even Clay had to agree that at least he could still exchange silly faces with RJ.

Sonny laughed at that and watched as the younger man drifted off the sleep. Sonny soon followed in a restless slumber, as he dreamed of softball games and accidents, and imagined himself in Clay’s predicament. He woke up with a start and looked at his watch.

It wasn’t quite a full day yet since Clay was injured; in fact, it was only about 18 hours, but Clay heard something that made him look more carefully at his sleeping brother.

“Clay, you okay?” he asked. Sonny reached over, without thinking of course, and patted his brother’s arm gently to get his attention.

“What?” Clay responded quickly. “Sonny? Everything okay?”

“Clay! Clay, you felt that, didn’t you?” Sonny asked excitedly.

“Felt what?” he said as he began to struggle to move about within the traction.

“No, don’t move, lay still! Just tell me if you can feel this,” and he gently touched his brother’s hand.

“OhGodthankyou,” murmured Clay. He felt it. He felt it just fine, thank you very much.

***

Sonny continued to test Clay’s upper limbs and found that most of the feeling had returned. The remainder would return in a few hours more and Clay’s lower limbs would regain feeling within the next few hours after that.

It wasn’t going to be easy. After it was determined that Clay’s injury was not permanent, the doctors explained to him that he still experienced a very serious trauma and would most likely require some intensive physical and occupational therapy for several weeks. But he would walk again. He would experience life again as he knew it. He would be the man he was.

And when next Joey Robinson visited Clay Spenser to offer his congratulations that all would be well, Sonny reminded him of his desire to help Clay out in any way that he could.

“And I meant it,” agreed Joey.

“Well, I know Clay’s gonna have to stay at the rehab center for a while until he’s discharged, but from what the doctors said, Clay’s gonna continue to need therapy once he goes home too. So, well, if we could count on you to take a turn getting him to his therapy on those days Bravo is spun up or our families aren’t available, it would be a big help,” Sonny explained.

“I know you’re letting me off easy, Clay. Of course, I’ll help you out by getting you to and from therapy,” answered Joey. “And thanks, Sonny.”

“Thanks? For what?” Sonny asked.

“For forcing me to see what I needed to do to get back to living my life. I was hiding away from everyone, worried that they would blame me for Clay’s paralysis. Of course, the sad thing was, they had every right to, except I was the only one who refused to see that. Well, make that me and Clay here.” He smiled at Clay and then said, “Thank you, to both of you.”

“You’re welcome,” murmured both men and watched him leave the room.

“So, how soon do you think Dr. Jeckyl will leave us and return as Mr. Hyde?” asked Clay with a wry grin.

“I’d bet that it lasts at least until the first or second spin-up,” replied Sonny with a wider grin.

“That long? Really?” Clay laughed in response. “I’d say by tonight; the real Joey Robinson returns. Beau Fuller has them doing night training. What do you say?”

Sonny nodded and then offered his hand out to his best friend.

“Hey brother?” Clay said quickly, “Thanks. Thanks for sticking by me.”

And Clay Spenser, with a great deal of effort, slowly offered his hand in return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for hanging with me. 
> 
> Didn't mean to post this so late, but what can you do when you have to spine board a kid at the basketball game you have to cover.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
